Narcis si Cristi

Narcis and Cristi: same story and different outcome.

Author: Nathanael Burke

As a very young child, Narcis was abandoned by his biological parents. Fortunately, he was also adopted at a young age by parents who now love and care for him as their own. Narcis’ parents have been trained to understand the impact of trauma on his development and to recognize the influence of trauma in his behaviors. Even now, after nearly four years, his parents still don’t have all the answers but they understand his challenges and they are working diligently to find solutions. This is the goal of training for adoptive families.

Cristi was also abandoned early and adopted around 3 years of age. Now, at the age of 8, his adoptive parents have decided that they could no longer deal with his hyperactive and sometimes aggressive behavior. They are requesting that the adoption be annulled. Cristi was placed back in foster care where, naturally, his behaviors have intensified. As a result, the foster parent has requested that Cristi be removed from their home.

Sadly, it seems that he is going to be placed in a “facility” that will likely medicate him all the while, his deep need for healing in the context of a family goes unmet.

THIS IS WHY WE OFFER TRAINING AND SUPPORT FOR FAMILIES

For us, the wellbeing of every child matters. We, in ARFO, are deeply impacted by the failure of Cristi’s adoption. We are grieving with him. Neither do we judge the family. We understand the impact of trauma. We know from experience that it is hard. We know that it hurts. We know there are pressures that would threaten to break even the strongest among us. And yet, there is hope.

In the book Wounded Children, Healing Homes, Dr. Timothy Callahan says, “Knowledge and perspective give these parents hope, by helping them to see things clearly, in a larger, more meaningful context.”

“Cunoștințele și perspectiva oferă acestor părinți speranța, ajutându-i să vadă clar, în contextul mult mai larg și mai semnificativ.”

In ARFO, one of the most important tools we have is the Trauma Competent Care course (ICT Îngrijire Competentă în Traumă). We have used this course to help train families since 2014. Last year, the course was updated by the authors and helpful changes were made. Our training team spent the last several months re-translating, re-editing, reformatting the material for use again in Romanain.

In February, six new trainers were trained to teach the updated ICT course! On Thursday, March 25th, we launched the first public training of the ICT.

While our hearts are still grieving for challenges that Cristi is facing, we are setting our sights on the opportunity we have to reach other adoptive parents with the “Knowledge and perspective” they need for hope.

So we are praising God for these opportunities:

  • collaboration with Trauma Free World who owns the course
  • for generous donors who helped with the cost of translation
  • for a great team who managed the project, edited material and formatted the material
  • for six new trainers.

If Cristi’s story grieves your heart as well, YOU also have an opportunity to help! What can you do? Do you know an adoptive family?

  • Please recommend the training to them! There is a real world cost to providing training with excellence.
  • Sponsor a family to help receive the training!
  • Sponsor an entire training event through ARFO.
  • Help to organize and coordinate a training event through ARFO.
  • Donate monthly to help the ARFO team to provide…the right training to the right person at the right time.

Nathan’s personal version below

THIS IS WHY I RETURNED TO ROMANIA!

In the last few months, I’ve been swamped in a major translation project. The Trauma Competent Caregiver training that we have used since 2015 was updated last year. Since October of last year, I have been overseeing the translation of the updated version of the course including nearly 500 pages of material, powerpoint presentations, and various supporting resources.

We have translated, reviewed, edited, and formatted the material and now we are getting ready to launch the new version to the public next week!

In between the translation and the launch, my colleagues and I have just taken 6 new trainers through the material. As of Monday of next week, we will have 6 new trainers ready to help us share this critical information with people who care for children!

THANK YOU!

Without your generous support and your prayers, we could not have done this!

Thank you for helping to train adoptive families

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